Unmasking Imposter Syndrome Among Veterinary Professionals | Episode 45 | Reviving Vet Med

Have you ever experienced feeling that you have somehow fooled everyone else around you into thinking you are smarter or more capable than you really are? Research demonstrates that just over two-thirds of veterinarians experience imposter syndrome, which is more common among female veterinarians and those in practice for less than 5 years. Imposter syndrome can be an excruciating experience for many professionals and can have dramatic consequences on a person’s wellbeing.

In this episode, we discuss the definition of imposter syndrome, predisposing factors and groups most impacted, who it impacts in veterinary medicine, and the different ways that it shows up in individuals’ personal and professional lives. We’ll finish by discussing practical and tangible ways to reduce imposter syndrome including quieting the inner critic. This is an episode you will want to share with others in your life who also experience feeling like a fraud. 

Resources

Blog: If I’m Such a Successful Veterinarian, Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud? https://marieholowaychuk.com/2018/04/04/im-successful-veterinarianthen-feel-like-fraud/ 

Article: Veterinarians and impostor syndrome: an exploratory study (Vet Rec 2020): https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32571984/ 

Book: Why do I feel like an imposter? How to understand and cope with imposter syndrome (by Dr. Sandi Mann)

Podcast: Do you feel like an imposter? (Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris): https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/valerie-young-574 

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Transcript

Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Reviving Vet Med. 

 In this episode, we will be talking about imposter syndrome. …

Some of the things we will discuss in this episode pertain to defining imposter syndrome, identifying predisposing factors and groups most impacted, understanding who and how it impacts in veterinary medicine, and unpacking the different ways that it shows up in individuals’ personal and professional lives. We’ll finish by discussing practical and tangible ways to reduce imposter syndrome including quieting the inner critic. 

 To watch the video version of this episode, please visit my YouTube channel and be sure to subscribe there for my latest videos. 

There is lots of really great content here that applies whether or not you feel that you experience imposter syndrome, so let’s get into the episode. 

This is the Reviving Vet Med podcast, and I'm your host, Doctor Marie Holowaychuck and my mission is to improve the mental health and wellbeing of veterinary professionals around the world.

Imposter syndrome is one of those things that I have been intimately experiencing over the course of my career. This has definitely happened to me during particular transitions in my career. For example, when I got into veterinary school, when I started my internship when I began my residency, when I started as a faculty member and then in many, many years since that, when I have made different transitions within the well-being space.

So I'll share some examples a little bit more specifically later on, but I first wrote about this topic several years ago in my blog titled if I'm such a successful veterinarian, then why do I feel like a fraud?

Now, I first learned about imposter syndrome long before this, during my residency back between 2005 and 2000. In eight and it was in the third year of my residency when I was chatting with one of my mentors. And you know, I must have been sharing something. You know, second guessing myself, feeling like everybody thinks I'm so much smarter than I really am. That sort of sentiment. And she said to me, I think you're experiencing imposter syndrome. And I was like, well, well, what? What the heck's imposter syndrome? And she explained it to me. Where it's this syndrome that frequently affects professionals, especially very high achieving professionals. And at the time, it was thought to more commonly affect women.

Then whereby they feel like they've fooled everybody, that everybody thinks they're the smart, capable, intelligent person and really they've just locked out or because of certain, you know, things external to them outside of their control. They have gotten this far rather than chalking it up to their. Internal capabilities and aptitude. And this resonated so much with me. I thought, Oh my goodness, that is exactly what I'm experiencing. I remember, you know, this was years ago now. I remember finding a second hand book online. This is before Amazon. So I don't even know at this point where I bought it from, but found a book. On imposter syndrome, read the whole thing from cover to cover and knew right away this was what I've been experiencing.

Thing up until that point, for many, many years, I think the first time that I remember experiencing imposter syndrome, if you don't count like making sports teams at a young age and that sort of thing really in the professional space as a veterinarian was when I got into vet school and many of you know that. Both of my parents are veterinarians and they both went to the veterinary school where I applied and went to school was accepted.

And I remember thinking when I got accepted at the young age of 19 that, Oh my gosh, they just accepted me because they had to because my parents are alumni. My parents would have been upset or maybe complained if I didn't get accepted. And that must have been why. And that really stayed with me throughout veterinary school, I remember.

For the longest time, the first few years. Of being in school. I didn't tell anybody that my parents were vets. Maybe a couple of people knew that my mom was a vet because she owned a practice and people knew the name. But most people didn't know that. Both of my parents were vets, and I made sure to keep it that way. Except for, you know, just one or two of my closest friends. And you know that I can remember getting into my internship and justice feeling like, Oh my gosh, I'm the only Canadian. I'm from this small Canadian vet school. I'm not going to know anything compared to these American.

And veterinarians and then again, you know, when I got into my residency, I had residency mates from Yale and Cornell and Penn and Tufts and all these private, you know, really well known schools. And I thought, Oh my goodness. Like, here's this, is it, this is where people are going to find out. They made a mistake, you know, who let this? Who let this person into this residency and on and on? It's gone from there.

So enough about me. Let's talk about the definition of imposter syndrome. So according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, imposter syndrome is the persistent doubt concerning one's abilities or accomplishments, accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite evidence of one's ongoing success. So there's many of you who have probably experienced this at one time or another. You might have also heard this being referred to as imposter phenomenon or imposter experience. I think we're definitely leaning towards the notion of it being an experience. I think sometimes when we define things as a syndrome, it can feel very.

You know, close, close to stigmatizing or labeling to that individual. Really, this is just a way of how we view ourselves. In light of how we present ourselves to the world and how the world perceives that self according to us. OK, so there are lots of people in history who have experienced imposter syndrome and who have talked pretty broadly about this. Sonia Sotomayor was a lawyer, famous lawyer is a famous lawyer, I should say, and was quoted to say I have spent my years since Princeton while at law school and in my various professional jobs. Not feeling completely a part of the world I inhabit, I am always looking my over my shoulder, wondering if I measure up. Maya Angelou, a famous author, once wrote. I have written 11 books, but each time I think, uh oh, they're going to find out. Now I've run a game on everybody and they're going to find me out. So again, that fear of being found out. Jodie Foster, famous Oscar winner, recently nominated once again, said it was the same way.

When I walked on the campus at Yale, I thought everyone would find out and they'd take the Oscar back. They'd come to my house, knocking on the door. Excuse me. We meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep. And then Dr. Margaret Chen, Doctor Margaret Chan was physician lead of the World Health Organization at one point. And the she's a Chinese Canadian physician. And she wrote there are an awful lot of people out there who think I'm an expert. How do these people believe all this about me?

I'm so much aware of all the things I don't know, and this is really what it comes down to, right? We are in our heads about all the things that we don't know. And so we assume that everybody doesn't. They have no idea. All these things. I don't know if they knew everything I didn't know, they wouldn't think I was so smart. Hurt, but at the same time, everybody else has many, many things they don't know either, and we're all, you know, functioning from our inner lens. And so we have this altered viewpoint of what, how we see ourselves and how we think others see ourselves as well. So I mentioned earlier that individuals thought imposter syndrome. Really impacted women more than men and we know today that in most populations it equally affects both men and women. And we also know that there are ramifications and that it is associated with depression, generalized anxiety, low self esteem and social anxiety.

So there are many predisposing factors that it's important to consider. For example high achievers, those individuals who had success early on in life, marginalized background in terms of individuals who come from backgrounds, where when they move into certain positions. They may not see themselves represented in the workspace, and therefore they may question whether they really belong there, or whether they've just fooled everybody's family upbringing and dynamics can lead into this. If you were really.

From a young age, you know said to be this very smart person, you know, labeled as the smart one. Sometimes you can feel a lot of pressure to to live up to that label and to feel like you're not actually worthy or the other flip side of that is if you've been labeled the pretty one and then you end up with success in school. And you might think, well, I'm just made that got this success because I'm pretty. I'm not actually that smart. You know, that kind of thing can stick with us into our adult years. And then definitely those in professional careers are thought to be more predisposed as well.

Now in terms of the groups most affected, I mentioned people from underrepresented racial or ethnic groups. Also, women in male dominated fields, LGBTQIA plus community members, individuals with disabilities, first generation professionals, academic professionals, early career professionals and entrepreneurs as well. So let's talk more specifically about veterinarians and how they have been impacted by imposter syndrome. There was an exploratory study published by Doctor Lori Cogan ET all in the veterinary record in 2020, and their objective was to explore the prevalence and severity of impostor syndrome among practicing veterinarians there was nearly 1000 vets worldwide that took part in this survey, and they found that about 1/3 or 68% met or exceeded the clinical cutoff score for imposter syndrome.

And also that female veterinarians and those in practice less than five years had an increased odds of having high imposter syndrome scores. Now both female veterinarians and those in practice less than five years also reported higher levels of impact on their professional life. Compared to the other groups that were represented in this study. So it would seem that despite research showing over the years that both men and women tend to be more equally impacted by imposter syndrome, certainly among the veterinarians surveyed in this particular study, it did seem that female veterinarians were more strongly represented in the impostor syndrome group.

Now, if you've ever wondered if you have imposter syndrome, there is a scale that I will link to in the show notes called the Clance impostor phenomenon scale. This is just a few questions. I think it's 12 or 15 questions that you can answer and rank basically between 1:00 and 5:00 from not at all to very much, and based on your score, you will have a better understanding about whether or not you experience imposter syndrome.

Now I think it's important to recognize that there are triggering situations, so I mentioned these career transitions that I experience, you know, getting into that school, getting into an internship, starting my residency, getting into academia as a faculty member. These different things are just one example, certain academic achievements. Can also be triggering graduation, starting a new job, getting a promotion, taking on new responsibilities in your work, delivering a talk publicly, or giving some sort of presentation.

And entrepreneurial ventures, creative endeavors and receiving feedback, even positive feedback for some people, can really trigger their imposter syndrome, because then they can start to get uncomfortable and feel like, Oh my gosh. Like if this person only knew how, you know, unqualified I am, or how much, I don't know. That tends to be the dialogue that goes on in terms of people's minds.

Now when we think of individuals who are most predisposed to imposter syndrome, there are certain personality traits that really tend to be associated, and these include low self esteem or that low overall belief in oneself and one's value as a person's low self worth, which is a low sense of deservingness and value that we attribute to ourself. Low self-confidence, so a low belief in our ability to meet challenges and such.

Deed and then high self doubt, so a lack of confidence in a person's abilities, decisions or judgments. So we tend to see each of these, not necessarily altogether or in combination, but each of these can be definitely seen in individuals with imposter syndrome, and I think one of the most. Interesting things I've learned in my research on imposter syndrome. Is this attribution bias, so it's this notion that.

We have internal attribution or internal causes that we can relate to successes, so these are things like our personality, our capabilities and our characteristics. We can also attribute things to external causes, so things like situational influences or forces. Beyond our control, you know it was. Luck it was. Is good timing. You know, whatever it might be. Now the average individual attributes success to internal causes and failure to external causes you know it it wasn't. It wasn't my time or it was just bad luck or whatever it might be. What is so interesting about individuals with imposter syndrome is they do the opposite. They attribute success to external causes. I lucked out it was the right time. It was. I was in the right place at the right time.

And failure to internal causes. I'm actually not that smart. I'm actually not worthy. You know, there's so much I don't know, et cetera, et cetera. So really, really interesting distinction there. Now I love this quote from the author Adam Grant, who recently published the Hidden potential, and he said not long ago it dawned on me that impostor syndrome is a paradox. Others believe in you. You don't believe in yourself, yet you believe yourself instead of them. So it's like this loop that we are on where we just. Keep believing. That others opinions is more important than ours, but yet when they believe in us, we don't believe them. We believe ourselves. So really, really interesting, interesting things to consider. So very often, what else we see in individuals with imposter syndrome is a confidence gap. So this is a consistent pattern where individuals, Despite that external evidence of their competence and success, lack internal confidence in their abilities. So I see this a lot among veterinarians, especially new grads. Or even more seasoned clinicians where I can see that they do a good job that they, you know, have good diagnostic capabilities. They've got a good knowledge base, they've, you know, got sound surgical skills or whatever it might be, yet they've got really low confidence. And that often comes from that internal imposter syndrome voice that's telling them. You're actually a fraud. You're fooling everybody.

So what are the consequences of impostor syndrome? Well, I mentioned earlier that we know that it can be linked with depression and anxiety, among other things. We know that it is also heavily linked with burnout. A lot of individuals with imposter syndrome push themselves really hard because they feel like if I if I get anywhere with success, it's going to be because I worked really, really hard, not because I was. You know, deemed to be really smart. Oftentimes they avoid opportunities or relationships are strained. They procrastinate, they face mental health challenges, job dissatisfaction, limited career advancement because they're fearful of that advancement or promotion and then self isolation. And you've heard me talk about perfectionism before on the podcast, if you've listened, one of the things that we see as well in combination with imposter syndrome is perfectionism. So there's this vicious cycle where we're presented with a new project or a task. And then we have that anxiety that creeps up, you know, and we put it off and we put it off or we over prepare because we want it to be perfect. And the reason we want it to be perfect if we are experiencing impostor syndrome is because we worry if I don't do this perfectly, people are going to find out I'm a fraud. Then we do the project.

We have some relief, we get recognition from others. Wow, good job. And then we start to rationalize while I lucked out or well, it's because I work so hard to do it perfectly. That only increases our self-doubt and our anxiety and that feeling like a fraud and then that all gets retriggered when we are facing a new project or task. So if you are experiencing this, I promise that you are not alone. I've been there and I know many others in our space have been there as well.

So very often, individuals with imposter syndrome also experience praise dissonance where we struggle to internalize or accept praise or positive positive feedback. Again, it can be very triggering. And it it really emphasizes this discord between external validation and those internal beliefs, right? Like we reject what people think and we we believe what we think we know to be true, which is that there's so much that I don't know. And there's so many people that I have fooled into thinking I know more than I actually do.

So I want to talk a little bit about solutions, but before I do, I want to talk about one of the biggest things that we can experience as someone who experiences imposter syndrome, which is that negative self talk. That harsh self criticism. Why did you say that? That was really stupid? This is all your fault. I can't believe you did that. You'll never be as good as that person, or you're such an idiot. All of these things. So I know many of us have been led to believe, you know, throughout our lives that having this negative inner critic is actually helpful for us, that this is motivating, that this creates our self-discipline. But what we know to be true based on research is that that negative inner voice is actually quite harmful.

In that it activates the sympathetic nervous system that fight flight freeze response. Not only does this lead to difficulties in terms of experiencing chronic stress overtime, but it also demeans our self worth and can erode our emotional and mental well-being.

So I want to share with you some strategies for quieting the inner critic. And this begins with catching it. If you are going to control your inner critic, you first have to be able to hear it. So start to notice your ongoing dialogue of that self talk. Most of it is going to be helpful. Sometimes it'll be harmless. You know, just that chatter.

And sometimes it's going to be negative, destructive or hurtful. It's those attacks that you want to pay attention to. You and the way that you know that it's not OK is if you would not say it out loud to a friend. It's not something that you should be saying to yourself.

Now finding or recognizing this inner critic can also come in the form of negative imagery. Sometimes our inner voice isn't talking to us, it's just showing us images that are meant to remind us of previous mistakes or failures. Just giving you this knowingness like be very careful because this might happen again.

So an example might be that you are supposed to go into a room with a client that is a little bit disgruntled. They've been waiting for a long time and you have to go have a conversation with them and an image flash flashes up in your head about the last time that a client yelled at you and you're just seeing that. Come up in front of you. That is your negative inner critic, just reminding you like, don't mess up here and even just that little flashback is going to activate your stress response more so than it would otherwise in that particular situation.

So after you've recognized these different situations, when your inner critic speaks to you negatively or flashes up this negative imagery, you want to monitor it, you might count the number of times this happens in a day. Start to think about patterns or trends in terms of when this is triggered and what is being presented to you.

I think one of the things that has really helped me over the years in terms of taming my inner critic has been to really understand what the intention is. I think sometimes it really is trying to protect me or help me, basically save me from struggle or embarrassment or sadness, humiliation, frustration, whatever it might be.

So I can see that it's trying to help, but in doing so it often ends up harming me. OK, so I think again, recognizing what's coming up for you, how often it's coming up, in what situations and what the intention might be.

Should statements are another big thing that your inner critic can do as well, and these are really comparing the way you are with the way you ought to be. Inherently, of course this is self judgment and leads to that sense of wrongness or inadequacy. So every time you should on yourself, so to speak, you're basically telling yourself.

You're not doing something you're supposed to be doing, and that can be really reinforcing of that inner critic, especially if you listen to it. If you're like, yeah, you know, I should be doing this or you're right or whatever it might be that is going to be reinforcing that negative voice that is just basically pointing out all of your inadequacy.

So the next step then is to silence your critic. Now you can do this in many different ways. You could talk back to your inner critic as soon as you hear something negative. Sometimes people feel good saying things like stop it. Shut up. Screw you. Be quiet. These can seem a little bit harsh, but they are considered healthy responses to quiet the voice inside of your head that is speaking harshly to you.

Now a little side note here, I would recommend doing this internally versus audibly unless you are alone. Otherwise you might raise some eyebrows and the people around you, I have to be honest though, rather than mentally screaming at my inner critic and just drowning her out with my irritation or annoyance, I tend to actually take a little more of a softened approach. Just saying a little bit with you know, a little bit of humor. I hear you. I see you. I know you're trying to be helpful, but it's not actually that helpful for me.

So then after that, you want to reaffirm your worth. So what that means is that you want to replace the inner critic's voice with a voice that recognizes your worthiness. So positive statements like I'm doing the best I can, I am worthy of kindness. I know I'm a good person, or I know I'm a good vet, leader, manager, tech nurse. You know, fill in the blank with whatever resonates with you.

So I highly recommend giving this some practice. This has taken me years to to do in in a way that has become habit really for me. Initially it took a lot of practice. It took a lot of time and awareness to recognize what I was really saying to myself and I'm happy to say that now I catch my inner critic much more quickly and I am able to quiet.

It much more quickly as well. Now let's talk through some additional strategies for reducing imposter syndrome, and I think one of the more important ones is to reduce social comparisons. I think comparison is the thief of joy is one of the best quotes that I have heard, and it really is true when it comes to imposter syndrome.

We often compare ourselves with all of these other people around us, and this is human nature. This is really, you know, understandable in terms of how we evolved as a species and and what it takes to survive. But the problem is, is that when we compare ourselves to individuals that we don't know very well or that we don't have the full story from, you know, I'm thinking, you know, influencers on social media or other people.

That you don't work very closely with. You're not seeing their failures. You're not seeing all of their mistakes. And and those sorts of things. So it's it's comparing individuals in a way that is not realistic. So we want to be mindful of not doing that. Some other strategies are to expect some degree of failure when trying new tasks or procedures. You are going to make mistakes as you learn new things, and that's normal. That's to be expected. It can be helpful as well to lean on a mentor to help navigate some intimidating situations that bring up those fraudulent. Feelings. Not only can they provide guidance, but they might also just reinforce the fact that they know that you're competent and they've worked with you long enough to see that you can excel and and do things well.

Another strategy is to take advantage of opportunities to teach, mentor, or share your experiences and knowledge with others. I have found that over the years, being a teacher and a mentor has really helped boost my confidence and mitigate my imposter syndrome. If I can teach something, I know that I know that concept very well. It can also be helpful to disclose imposter thoughts to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues. Very often just saying it out loud helps to make it a little bit less power. And another really important piece that I want to recommend is to keep those reminders and those affirmations of all of your accomplishments and successes. So this might be e-mail messages, cards or other notes and kudos from clients, mentors, coworkers, and friends that you can read over and over and over again.

When your imposter syndrome creeps up, I have to be honest. I not only have a little Tupperware container of physical cards and things that I've kept over the years. Back from my internship in my early days of being about 20 years ago, right up till now when I get thank yous as a speaker and in other situations and because so much of what we have done as well in recent years is to shift over into the virtual space. And so we don't get as many physical cards.

I have also created a fan mail folder on my desktop that allows me to take a screenshot and then pop it in there. So if somebody writes a positive review online or if somebody sends me a message on LinkedIn, that really warms my heart. I can screenshot it and then tuck it away so that I can read it later on. So I highly, highly recommend that. As well.

And I want to leave you with one last recommendation, which is if you are really struggling with imposter syndrome, and especially if it accompanies. Symptoms of a mental illness such as depression or anxiety. I really strongly recommend that you seek mental health support. This has been really helpful for me over the years. I have been seeing a counselor off and on for more than a decade now and it has been so, so beneficial, especially when it comes to.

Just reframing some of those negative thought patterns that we can have as those who experience imposter syndrome and again really important, given the link between imposter syndrome and perfectionism, as well as depression and anxiety.

So if you're looking for some additional resources, I'll link up to these in the show notes as well. I recently listened to an audio book called Why Do I Feel like an impostor by Doctor Sandy Mann? So I highly recommend that. And then one of my favorite podcast, the 10% happier podcast with Dan Harris episode #574 was do you feel like an impostor? Highly, highly recommended. It really resonated great conversation and lots of great pointers there for you as well.

So just summing it up with key takeaways for today, remember that imposter syndrome is common among professionals, especially those of us in the veterinary profession, in early career or during job transitions that we can see a lot of things in combination with this, including attribution, bias, perfectionism. And Prague dissonance?

And that self criticism and that negative self talk can be very, very loud. For those of us with imposter syndromes. So we want to make sure that we are enhancing our self-awareness, replacing our negative self talk and tracking successes when we are trying to recover from or at least mitigate some of our experiences with imposter syndrome. And of course, leaning on trained supports or our mentors and mental health professionals can be highly, highly beneficial as well.

So that’s it for this episode of Reviving Vet Med. I hope that you have gained some insights into imposter syndrome and what that means for you and those you work or live with. I urge you to think about one thing you’re going to do right away after listening to this episode. Maybe that’s setting up your own fan mail folder on your computer, or perhaps that’s sharing this episode with someone you know who you think might benefit. 

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