Dealing with Rude Clients in Veterinary Practice | Episode 58 | Reviving Vet Med

Timed to coincide with Canada’s Pink Shirt Day, we explore a challenge that many veterinary professionals face: managing rude client interactions. These behaviors, though often not personal, can profoundly impact veterinary teams, leading to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even decisions to leave the profession. By understanding the emotional and financial stressors that fuel client behavior, veterinary professionals can better navigate these challenging interactions.

The episode offers actionable strategies for handling rude clients with empathy and professionalism, including de-escalation techniques, boundary-setting, and active listening. Recovery is emphasized, with tips for debriefing with teammates, practicing self-compassion, and fostering positivity through mindfulness and gratitude.It also highlights the importance of creating a supportive practice culture through training, leadership, and celebrating team successes. By working together, veterinary teams can build a culture of respect and resilience that benefits both professionals and clients.

Resources

Pink Shirt Day: https://www.pinkshirtday.ca/

Ruminating on rudeness: Exploring veterinarians' experiences of client incivility: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34755345/

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Transcript

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Use the link in the show notes for 100 free notes, 50 more than the trial book a no obligation demo call and see how ScribeNote can simplify your day. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Reviving Vet Med. Today we're tackling a challenge that nearly every veterinary professional has faced dealing with rude clients. I've chosen this topic because in Canada on February 26th we celebrate Pink Shirt Day. This day was established to create a more kind and inclusive world by raising awareness and funds for anti-bullying initiatives. So, in this episode we're going to unpack the issue of rudeness by clients in practice, explore why it happens, and discuss actionable strategies to handle these situations without compromising our mental health or well-being.

So, with that said, let's go ahead and get into the episode. So, this is the Reviving Vet Med podcast and I'm your host, Dr. Marie Holowaychuk. My mission is to improve the mental health and well-being of veterinary professionals around the world. Okay, so before we dive in, I'm going to share a story. This is the first story that I remember dealing with a rude or challenging client in veterinary practice. Most of you know that I am the daughter of two veterinarians. My mom had a companion animal practice in the town where I grew up and so from junior high, well really elementary school onward, I was working in my mom's practice and when I was in junior high, I worked Saturdays.

And I remember a Saturday when we’re juggling emergencies and appointments and you know how it is, you have one doctor, one technician. And then I was helping and a client stormed up to the front desk furious about the wait time. And I'll never forget the feeling of being berated in front of the other clients that were sitting in the waiting room. This was my first introduction to the realities of our client-facing role in veterinary medicine. And as I have progressed in my career since I have seen how common these experiences can be, not just for veterinarians, but for technicians, nurses, receptionists, animal care attendants, you name it. 

And it's not to say that all of our clients are rude, but certainly when we have a number of these circumstances in dealing with rude or difficult clients, the cumulative toll of these encounters is really can lead to stress and burnout, and research shows even thoughts of leaving the profession. But it doesn't have to be this way, and that's why I want to talk about coping strategies in today's podcast. So, I want to take a step back and examine a larger trend that's impacting not just vet medicine, but many professions and interactions, and that is the rise of incivility in the general population. There are many studies and surveys over the last few years that have highlighted an increase in rude, disrespectful, and aggressive behavior in everyday interactions.

I don't know about you, but I feel like every time I walk up to a counter where they're offering a service, there's a sign or a placard that says, rudeness will not be tolerated. And civility, which is the basic courtesy we extend to one another, seems to be eroding. And unfortunately, the veterinary profession is not immune to this societal shift. And so, the more placards that we see in public when we go out and run errands and visit other services, we recognize that the more other services are impacted, the more we, as a service profession, are going to be impacted as well. So, what are the causes behind this trend? There are a lot of different factors that people believe are contributing to a rise in incivility, and the first is the stress epidemic. 

So, life in general just feels more stressful than ever for people. And this is probably due to economic uncertainty, job insecurity, the global pandemic, political polarization, and of course, just the rapid pace of modern life. This has left many people feeling overwhelmed. And I know for me personally, I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life as I have the last few years. And the reality is that when people feel chronically stressed or anxious, it often comes out as frustration or aggression in their interactions with others. I know for me, as somebody who lives with anxiety, I definitely experience that as anger or even rage sometimes. 

And I need to be very mindful when I am interacting with service people to manage my emotions, because it's easy to just take it out on them when in fact, they are not the cause of what I am experiencing, at least not directly. Another thing that's probably contributing is the role of social media. So, social media has created a platform for people to express their thoughts, both good and bad, and often without consequences. So, this keyboard warrior culture really has normalized behaviors that would otherwise be considered unacceptable in face-to-face interactions, such as insults, name calling and public shaming. And in addition, the constant exposure to negativity online can prime people to approach situations in their real lives with a shorter temper and with less patience. Again, these are just little things that are adding fuel to the fire, so to speak. 

And of course, it goes without saying, the third piece that is probably contributing is the pandemic effect. The COVID 19 pandemic intensified stress and isolation for people around the world. And in many situations, it also strained relationships and heightened emotions. And we've seen, of course, how this impacted frontline workers in healthcare, in retail, in restaurants, and of course, in veterinary medicine. And reports of clients being ruder and more demanding and less understanding skyrocketed during and after the pandemic. That's when we've really seen a societal shift in client behavior. And last but not least, there seems to have really been an erosion of patience and empathy. And I don't think we're exactly sure why this has taken place. I think some people blame technology for providing instant access to information and services. 

So, that has created a culture or a society where people have grown accustomed to immediacy and therefore waiting, whether it's for a response or an outcome or a service or whatever it might be. This has become increasingly difficult for some people, and this lack of patience often translates into frustration with others, particularly service providers like veterinary teams who can become easy targets for vented emotions. So, the rise in rudeness isn't just anecdotal. There are, as I mentioned, studies to back it up. There was a 2022 survey study conducted by the American Psychological Association that found that 76% of adults reported having encountered incivility in their daily lives, including rudeness in public spaces, aggressive driving or hostile interactions in workplaces, and even in places that historically emphasize kindness and care, such as hospitals, schools and vet clinics. 

Reports of aggressive and disrespectful behavior from clients and the general public have been on the rise. So, for example, veterinary staff members have faced verbal abuse for enforcing clinic policies like mask mandates during the pandemic. Teachers have reported more parents expressing anger inappropriately during meetings or school events. And research has shown that airline staff have also experienced record-breaking levels of unruly passengers. It's just mind boggling when you think about it, and of course, there is a ripple effect of incivility. Incivility or rudeness doesn't happen in a vacuum. It has ripple effects that extend far beyond the moment of the interaction. So, what that means is that it can increase emotional and mental strain for the recipient, leading to stress, burnout, and disengagement. There can be damaged trust in relationships, whether in workplaces, communities, or client professional settings. 

And it just contributes to a general decline in societal norms around kindness, understanding, and collaboration. So, again, when you think about a culture, if it is the culture and the norm to be rude or uncivil or not compassionate or kind, a person can't help but take on that behavior when they are exposed to that on a day in and day out basis. And so, in the veterinary profession, where compassion fatigue and burnout are already widespread, this increased incivility just adds a layer of stress that can feel insurmountable. So, let's think about the impact of rude and bullying behavior. There is some research looking at this now in the veterinary space. There was a survey of veterinary professionals conducted in 2021 that found that client incivility wasn't just an occasional nuisance, it was one of the leading contributors to workplace stress. 

So, some examples of what that can look like are a client refusing to pay their bill and then verbally berating a receptionist or a pet owner accusing a veterinarian of negligence because their pet didn't recover as expected, or social media harassment after an emotionally charged euthanasia discussion. And this kind of behavior has ripple effects. There's an emotional toll. So, what that means is that veterinarians will feel inadequate, guilty, or anxious after these encounters and other members of the veterinary team as well. And this also has an impact on team morale. When one team member is mistreated, it affects everybody. Witnessing a colleague being berated can lead to anger and frustration and even fear within the rest of the team. And then, of course, there can be retention issues.

So, we have noticed in research studies that demonstrate client incivility is a significant factor in why veterinary professionals choose to leave their jobs or even the profession entirely. There was a 2019 study from the Journal of Veterinary Medical Education that found that prolonged exposure to client complaints was directly correlated with burnout. And for many, the emotional exhaustion of these interactions outweighs the passion they feel for helping animals. In other words, you get to a point where it just isn't worth it after a while. So, it's important to acknowledge that client incivility doesn't just affect our work lives, it can bleed into our personal lives, leaving us feeling drained and even unable to enjoy time with family and friends. So, why are clients behaving this way? Well, it's clear that it's rarely about us as individuals, although it often feels personal in the moment. 

And I remember when I did my American Vet Med association well-being facilitator training, there is a module that we learned to facilitate on dealing with rudeness in the workplace. And one of my favorite quotes from that presentation is, the client is not giving you a hard time. The client is having a hard time. So, trying to make sure that you recognize that there is this separation. Right? Clients are feeling a lot of different things when they come into our practices, and in order to expect them to be empathetic to us, we also need to express empathy to them as well. And so, considering what a client is experiencing, right. First and foremost, the emotional overload. For many pet owners, veterinary visits are emotionally charged. Their pets are beloved family members, and any signs of illness can evoke fear or grief. 

And unfortunately, these emotions can come out as anger, especially if the client feels powerless or overwhelmed. So, remember that anger is not a primary emotion. There is something underneath that. And if it's not the emotion overload, then perhaps it's financial stress. Veterinary care is expensive, and some clients are unprepared for the financial commitment. So, when faced with a large bill, they might lash out instead of addressing their financial constraints openly. Another thing that can impact client behavior is their unrealistic expectations. With the rise of online information or misinformation in many circumstances, many clients come into our practices with preconceived notions about diagnostics, treatments, or costs. So then, when the reality doesn't align with their expectations, frustration often follows. And then, last but not least, a lack of understanding can contribute to client rudeness. 

So, unfortunately, veterinary work often happens behind the scenes, from the diagnostics that we do, to the surgical preparations, to the blood draws and to the patient care. And because clients don't always see this, there can be misconceptions about what goes into caring for their pets. Now, understanding these factors doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it can help us approach these situations with empathy and calm rather than defensiveness. So, let's dig into some strategies for managing rude clients and what you can do in the moment. And the first is de-escalation through empathy. So, acknowledging a client's emotions just in and of itself can diffuse tension. So, for example, I can see how worried you are about Max. Let's go over the Treatment plan together so that you feel comfortable moving forward. Showing empathy demonstrates that you're on their side, not against them.

Empathy is a connector. The second strategy is setting boundaries. It is essential to maintain respect in every situation. If the client becomes hostile, calmly state your expectations. So, for example, I want to help you, but I need us to have this conversation respectfully. This approach communicates that their behavior is unacceptable without escalating the situation. The third strategy is active listening and validation. The reality is that some clients just want to feel heard. And so, you can make sure that they feel heard by paraphrasing or reflecting their concerns back to them to show you're listening. So, for example, you're upset about the wait time, and I know how frustrating that must be. Let me explain what's happening today. A fourth strategy is to redirect the conversation. So, sometimes it helps to focus on the solutions rather than dwelling on the problem. 

So, for example, if a client is angry about costs, you could say, I understand this cost is more than you expected. Let's discuss the most critical treatments and prioritize what's necessary today. The fifth strategy is to know when to walk away. And this is if a client's behavior crosses the line into abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, it is absolutely okay to step away. Make sure that you involve a supervisor, whether it be your hospital manager or an owner, and explain that you're ending the conversation. So, for example, you might say, I want to resolve this, but I can't do this while being yelled at. Let's revisit this when we're both calmer. And then the six strategies to document everything. So, making sure that for contentious interactions, detailed documentation is done to protect both you and your team. 

Noting what was said, what actions were taken, and any resolutions that were reached is really important. Now. It doesn't stop there. Whenever we have tough client interactions, it's crucial that we take steps to rec. And this includes having some sort of post interaction, debrief and recovery. So, the first step is to debrief with your team. You want to talk about what happened with your team members. Sharing your feelings is really important here so that you can validate your experience and provide some emotional relief. Even just as simple as, wow, that client got really angry really quickly and there was a moment there where I felt scared. The second step is to practice self-compassion. So, remind yourself that you're human. And a single negative interaction doesn't define your skills or value as a professional. You are human. 

Remember, this is not about you and while you might not handle it as perfectly as you hope that you would, that's okay. You did the best you could under the circumstances. Next, you want to reset your mindset, so you want to engage in some sort of a quick stress relief activity like deep breathing or a short walk or a dance break or just stepping outside. I personally find a mindfulness exercise to be helpful, so just a few minutes of focused breathing and really tuning into my senses, noting a few things that I can see in the environment, smell, touch, taste and hear can be really helpful for me getting tuned back into my body. And then last but not least, you want to focus on the positives. 

So, if you can keep a folder or a box of thank you notes, positive reviews, photos of pets, you've helped. Revisiting those items during challenging client interactions can really help shift your perspective after a difficult time and remind you that it's not all bad. We have lots of really incredible clients and situations, and those are the ones that we want to focus on at the end of a difficult day. So finally, I want to talk about the bigger picture. I want to recognize that handling client incivility isn't just an individual responsibility. This is really a team effort. And so, it's really important to hold regular team meetings to talk through challenging scenarios. 

So, for example, you might share this podcast episode with your team and then you might recap some of the strategies that can be used and maybe even practice them so that everyone feels confident to deal with common client situations that are challenging. Next, it's important to make sure that practice owners and managers set the tone for how client behavior is handled. Make sure that there are policies in place to support team members when they face abusive clients. 

Team members are going to feel much more comfortable knowing that they don't necessarily have to step in, that they've got someone that they can call upon if they need a client situation to be handled, and that for those really difficult or abusive, challenging client situations, that those clients are fired from the practice and the team feels safe that they're not going to have to deal with that client again. And then, last but not least, we do want to take time to acknowledge our good clients and the positive impact our team makes every day. We have some incredible clients that are so kind and empathetic and understanding and acknowledging those clients really helps to reinforce the rewarding aspects of the incredible work that we do as veterinary professionals each and every day. So, that's it for this episode of Reviving Vet Med. 

If you've dealt with rude clients, I hope today's episode gave you the tools to navigate these interactions with confidence and grace. Remember, you're not alone and together we can create a culture of respect and resilience in veterinary medicine. If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to forward it to a colleague or coworker who you think would benefit. Also, we would really appreciate it if you would subscribe or follow the podcast so that you are sure to get the new episodes as soon as they drop. You can also follow us on social media at @RevivingVetMed for more tips and strategies for well-being in vet medicine. 

And if you have any questions about today's episode, suggestions for future episode topics, or inquiries about sponsoring the podcast, please email us at podcast reviving that med.com I'd like to thank the team at Bear Beat Productions for producing this episode and I'd also like to thank you for listening. I hope you'll tune in next time. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Bye for now.