Embracing Conflict: Courageous Conversations in Veterinary Practice | Episode 72 | Reviving Vet Med

Conflict is a part of every workplace—but in veterinary medicine, it’s often something we avoid at all costs. In this episode of Reviving Vet Med, Dr. Marie Holowaychuk explores why conflict avoidance is so common among veterinary teams and how it can silently erode trust, collaboration, and even patient care.

Through practical strategies and real-life examples, Marie breaks down the different types of conflict—whether it’s a disagreement over clinical decisions or a clash of personalities—and shares tools for navigating each with courage and compassion. You’ll learn how to give feedback without damaging relationships, how to handle emotionally charged situations, and why leaning into healthy conflict is essential for building resilient, connected teams.

If you’ve ever walked on eggshells at work or struggled to speak up, this episode will give you the mindset and tools to approach conflict with confidence—and create a workplace culture where both people and patients thrive.

Resources

How to handle conflict among coworkers (PDF): https://revivingvetmed.kartra.com/page/HandlingConflict 

Thank You to Our Sponsor Scribenote

Book a Demo: https://calendly.com/d/4zm-dsr-wfh/scribenote-demo 

Free 14-Day Trial: https://app.scribenote.com/auth/register?referralCode=Reviving-VetMed

Pre-Order Dr. Marie Holowaychuk’s book A Compassionate Calling: What It Really Means To Be a Veterinarian: https://www.routledge.com/A-Compassionate-Calling-What-It-Really-Means-to-Be-a-Veterinarian/Holowaychuk/p/book/9781032389035?utm_source=cjaffiliates&utm_medium=affiliates&cjevent=26e8517167f611f0806101060a1eba24  

Newsletter
For more practical pointers and tangible tips related to veterinary mental health and wellbeing, subscribe to our e-newsletter: https://revivingvetmed.kartra.com/page/newsletter

Online Programs
To learn more about Reviving Veterinary Medicine’s offerings including coaching, lunch & learns, critical incident group debriefing, and online programs, please visit our website: https://revivingvetmed.com/ 

Questions, Suggestions, or Sponsorship Opportunities
Email: podcast@revivingvetmed.com 

Scribenote
The first AI-powered veterinary SOAP creator that builds accurate medical records effortlessly.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Transcript

Hi everyone, it's Dr. Marie Holowaychuk here. If you're like me and love staying up to date on what's happening in Vet Med beyond just cases and clinical pearls, you'll want to check out What's Up Doc, the new podcast from Scribenote. Hosted by Dr. Katie Gallagher, veterinarian and co-founder of Scribenote. What's Up Doc dives into the real conversations happening in our industry, from the latest trends in tech to mental health and the everyday challenges veterinary professionals face. I had the chance to be a guest on the show to talk about all things veterinary wellbeing and trust me, it's not your average vet med podcast. So wherever you listen to your podcasts, search What's Up Doc by Scribenote, hit follow and join the conversation. 

Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of Reviving Vet Med.

Today, we're diving into a topic that many of us in veterinary medicine find uncomfortable, but one that's absolutely essential for building healthy teams and workplaces. And that topic is conflict. 

Today we'll explore why conflict isn't something to fear, but something to embrace. During the episode, we talk about the different types of conflict you might encounter in veterinary practice, how to handle disagreements about patient care or clinical decisions, what to do when personalities clash, and most importantly, how to have courageous conversations without damaging relationships. I'm super excited to share this information with you. This is one of my favourite topics. So let's go ahead and get into this short but very practical episode. 

This is the Reviving Vet Med podcast, and I'm your host, Dr. Marie Holowaychuk. My mission is to improve the mental health and wellbeing of veterinary professionals around the world.

So let's start with the elephant in the room. Why are we so bad at dealing with conflict in vet medicine? 

Well, first of all, most of us were never trained for it. Vet school teaches us how to diagnose, treat and save lives, but it doesn't always teach us how to give constructive feedback or set healthy boundaries or handle difficult conversations with colleagues. 

On top of that, many of us chose this profession because we're helpers. We're caregivers. We want to be liked. We avoid rocking the boat because we're afraid of hurting feelings or being seen as difficult. In fact, a DVM360 survey found that over 50% of veterinary team members say they try to avoid conflict whenever possible, even though they'll engage in it if they absolutely have to. 

And that's a problem because when conflict is constantly avoided, it doesn't disappear; it festers.

And I've seen this happen in clinics where team members spend more time walking on eggshells than collaborating. There's this surface level calm, but underneath resentment, frustration, exhaustion. We call this artificial harmony, and it's actually more harmful than healthy conflict.

Artificial harmony leads to miscommunication, passive-aggressive behaviour, and a lack of innovation because no one feels safe to share new ideas. When a team is stuck in artificial harmony, patient care suffers. So do relationships, and over time, so does mental health. 

So let's reframe this. Conflict is not a sign of failure. It is not a sign of dysfunction. It's a normal part of being human, and especially when you're working with a team. In fact, diverse teams are supposed to have conflict.

If you're all bringing different clinical backgrounds, communication styles and personalities to the table, you're bound to disagree sometimes, and that's a good thing. 

Think about it this way: Would you rather work on a team where no one ever questions decisions, or a team where people feel empowered to speak up, even if it's uncomfortable? 

Conflict gives us the chance to learn from different perspectives, to challenge the status quo, and to grow as individuals and as a team. And when handled well, conflict leads to better patient care, stronger relationships, and even more resilient teams. 

So instead of asking yourself, "How do I avoid conflict?" 

Let's ask, "How can I embrace conflict with courage and compassion?"

 So let's break conflict into categories, because not every conflict is the same.

The first type of conflict is information conflict, and this is when people disagree about facts and opinions or decisions. 

It might look like debating how to manage a critical case, or disagreeing about when to upgrade the practice software, or having different ideas about when or who to hire as new staff. Information conflict is healthy and productive, especially when handled well. It challenges us to think critically and to consider new options. But if handled poorly, it can turn into a personal battle of egos. And that's when things spiral. 

The second type of conflict is personal conflict, and this one's a bit trickier. 

Personal conflict stems from interpersonal friction, not the task or the problem at hand. Maybe someone's tone came off as dismissive. Maybe there's been a pattern of passive-aggressive comments. Maybe there's a clash of personalities or work styles.

When personal conflict goes unresolved, it creates gossip, cliques and disruption of team cohesion. In extreme cases, it can even lead to disruptive behaviours like condescension, verbal abuse, or avoidance, all of which need to be addressed directly. 

So let's talk about strategy. 

When you're dealing with information conflict, the goal is to keep the focus on the issue, not the person. So here's how you do this. 

Step one. You stay curious. Instead of trying to prove your point, ask what's your perspective on this? Tell me more about why you see it that way. Curiosity disarms defensiveness. 

Step two is to use evidence, not emotion. Whenever possible. You want to ground the conversation in facts. So, for example, in similar cases, studies have shown this protocol reduces complications by 30%. Or, based on the American Animal Hospital Association guidelines, this is the recommended approach. You want to avoid phrases like I just feel like this is better or My gut says we should do it this way. Feelings are valid, but they're not always persuasive in clinical decision-making and problem-solving. 

Step three is to use reflective listening, and this is huge. You want to reflect back what you're hearing from the other person. So it sounds like you're concerned about anesthesia risks. Is that right? Or let me make sure I understand you're worried about client compliance. If we change protocols with reflective listening, it allows people to feel heard, and when they feel heard, they're more willing to collaborate. 

Step four is to accept that consensus isn't always possible. Sometimes you'll disagree even after all the talking, and that's okay. The goal isn't to make everyone think the same. It's to ensure that everyone feels respectful, respected, and considered. So even if the final decision isn't yours, you're more likely to support it if your voice was heard. 

Hey there, quick break. If you haven't heard, my book, A Compassionate Calling is available for pre-order now and releases August 18, 2025. It's a heartfelt look at the joys and challenges of veterinary life, and I'd love for you to check it out. Visit revivingvetmed.com/book for a sneak peek and to grab your exclusive discount code. 

That's revivingvetmed.com/book. You won't want to miss it. 

Now let's tackle personal conflict, which is where most of us get stuck. Maybe a co-worker snapped at you during rounds. Maybe there's been a pattern of eye rolling or undermining comments. What do you do? How do you handle these situations? Well, instead of avoiding them, I'm going to urge you to use the DISH script.

DISH. D-I-S-H stands for

• Describing the situation
• Identifying your concerns, using I statements
• Suggesting alternatives
• Highlighting the benefits of resolving the issue. 

For example, earlier today during rounds, I noticed you sighed and rolled your eyes when I suggested a treatment plan. I felt undermined and embarrassed when that happened. Next time, could we bring up the concerns openly during the meeting so the whole team can discuss them? I think this will help us collaborate better and avoid any misunderstandings in the future. 

So you heard there in the first sentence earlier today during rounds, I noticed that is the describe. Then you identify your concerns with. I felt undermined and embarrassed. Then comes the suggestion, could we bring up the concerns openly and then finally we highlight the benefits. I think this will help us collaborate better.

So why does the DISH script work? Well, for one, it avoids blame. It also focuses on the behaviour, not the person. And similar to information conflict, it invites collaboration, not confrontation. 

Some other tips for handling personal conflict situations are timing. We want to make sure that we time the conversation appropriately, meaning we don't wait too long, but we also don't address it in front of clients or other team members or when our emotions are running high.

 We also want to make sure that we do this in private. Finding a room or a space that nobody is going to interrupt you, or even going outside and taking a walk to talk to the person one-on-one. We also want to make sure that we stick to one issue at a time.

Try not to get into the habit of keeping a tab on what somebody is doing that upsets you and then bringing up all of these past grievances at one time. We want to make sure that we're giving people the opportunity to improve. We also want to be open to feedback. Remember that conflict is a two way street. Sometimes we are playing a role in the conflict without even realizing it.

Another powerful tool that I often teach in workshops is the power of conciliatory gestures. So, conciliatory gestures are when you show vulnerability or even take accountability, even if it is just a small part of the issue. 

So, for example, I realized I was short with you yesterday. I was feeling overwhelmed and I'm sorry or I know I tend to get defensive about my treatment plans. I'm working on that. When one person offers a conciliatory gesture, it often inspires the other person to do the same.

 In essence, it just softens the conversation and shows vulnerability. And it shifts the dynamic from a me versus you to an us versus the problem. But here's the catch. It has to be genuine. No sarcasm, no passive-aggressive tones. Sincerity really is the key. 

And at the core of all of these strategies is a really important concept of compassionate or nonviolent communication. Nonviolent communication focuses on needs, not blame. It uses positive language and specific requests. And it keeps the door open for dialogue.

So for example, instead of saying you never update the treatment board before your shift ends, instead could you please make sure the treatment board is updated before the end of your shift? It helps the next team stay on track.

This small shift in language reduces defensiveness and promotes teamwork. 

So before we wrap up, I want to invite you to do a little bit of a reflection. Think about a recent situation where you avoided conflict.

 Maybe you bit your tongue when you disagreed about something. Maybe you stewed in silence after a co-worker's comment. 

Ask yourself, what was I trying to protect by avoiding the conversation? What might have changed if I'd approached it with curiosity and compassion? And how can I practice courage next time, even if it's uncomfortable? 

So to sum it up, conflict is not the problem, but avoidance is. When handled well. Conflict strengthens teams, it fosters innovation, and it improves patient care. You can do this with tools like the DISH script, reflective listening, and compassionate communication. You can face conflict with courage and grace.

So that's it for this episode of Reviving Vet Med. I hope you're walking away with some tools and strategies for navigating conflict with more confidence and compassion. If you do just one thing after listening today, I hope it's this. 

Forward this episode to a colleague or coworker who might benefit from it. Chances are, they've had to navigate conflict too, and this could help. 

We'd also love it if you subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss future episodes. Also, to access the PDF on how to handle conflict among co-workers, go to revivingvetmed.com/conflict. You can also follow us on social media at @revivingvetmed for more wellbeing tips and strategies.

If you have questions, ideas for future episodes, or if you're interested in sponsorship opportunities, send us an email podcast@revivingvetmed.com.

A big thank you to the team at Podcast Prime Solutions for producing this episode. And most of all, thank you for listening. I hope you'll join me next time. Until then, take care of yourself. Bye for now.